excellent example:

sometime around my bankruptcy i renewed my firewall protection on both computers and switched to a new search engine with toolbar. performance started degrading a bit. with my med changes, i had other things on my mind, or other minds on my change.

as time went on, i started experiencing slow downs, so i called the firewall tech support. even escalated the issue through paid support only to get no resolution. back to the hardware manufacturer, to the os vendor and finally to the modem and isp.

now the isp was the absolutely most patient, excellent solution provider i could ask for. was it mere coincidence that they were located within miles of where i was born ? how much does familiarity breed assurance ?

it seems that having two computers to focus on, but one gateway and one internet modem (here’s the lever and one fulcrum), i had to strike a balance. that’s when the bridge between the modem and gateway was created, but i had to go further. the opposing force was the search engine and services provider who only let one user account active at a time using a direct ip address connect.

when the provider connected to one computer it had to disconnect the other, throwing the dns table into chaos. there was no use trying to keep the benefits of mutually available services on both machines simultaneously if it would corrupt the system (which the firewall was a victim of and had to be removed), so the search engine provider had to be demoted off one machine and plays an ancillary role on the other.

see, this is a complex problem, only figured by acting out, encouraged along the way by partial success but not totally resolved until now. the question is why did it take so long to comprehend and implement ?

another point is that it’s extremely important to know how much i have changed yet remain the same. i can recall my past, but it is not something that i inhabit.

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