i feel like a four cylinder four valve four stroke cafe racer speeding down the interstate…

been to the dr and saw again that i did the right thing for the wrong reason. it may be that my earlier request for a tryptophan load test would have shown a higher level absorbed than normal. that would explain why the stomach is so sensitive, the nerves needing to correctly channel serotonin rather than allow it to freely float to a destination and the feeling of pressure of expanding.

i’m to add some over the counter vitamins and minerals supplementing my diet … coenzyme q10, alphalipoic acid (antioxident) and fish oil. i’m also to reduce my tryptophan intake.

unfortunately that causes a fiscal imbalance … the money for health insurance will run out when the insurance itself runs out – 12/31. medicare part d will be a new expense of over $300 not including health coverage. the new supplements aren’t covered by the insurance and will run upwards of $50 per month, a week’s worth of groceries, a month of rent.

my next visit was supposed to be in two to three weeks, but the only available time was 40 days away. i only got 2 weeks supply of zyprexa, so …

as i’ve lived i have faced challenges that have never reached closure. just like an onion grows a skin, an oyster swirls a pearl, but not the terrible crystal of a diamond. no wonder there’s so much pressure. these notes are the need to keep that shell open for others to see inside long enough to get the precious contents to safety. i just need to know that someone recognizes this!

on a positive note i’ll be referred to a neurologist. the three nerves causing the migraines will be further investigated and hopefully something can be done.